


That Face You Show The World

by theMusicmaniac



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone is a dork, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, I tried to make it as not cringy as possible, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Musical References, Musicals, One Big Happy Family, Social Media, Tony Is A Dork, Well Not Entirely Nothing, steve is also a dork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-09 03:06:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17993672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theMusicmaniac/pseuds/theMusicmaniac
Summary: The entire situation started as a publicity thing.“I’m sorry, what?” Tony looks up from his phone for the first time in the team meeting that afternoon in order to stare at Fury’s unimpressed face.“What did you just say you wanted us to do? Did I hear that correctly, or have I accidentally inhaled too many workshop fumes again?”...It starts off as PR, and somehow ends up as show business.Tony Stark blames Fury entirely.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would apologize for this. But I am not remotely sorry XD. 
> 
> This fic spawned from me watching a youtube video of all the clips of Avenger's actors/actresses singing with their beautiful angelic voices and going "I NEED A MUSICAL NUMBER I FUCKING NEED IT." 
> 
> It's set early on in the Avengers Assemble universe with sprinklings of MCU references because;
> 
> 1\. Everything there is ACTUALLY Beautiful and Nothing Hurts (yes I am throwing shade at everything from Civil War onwards)  
> 2\. I don't actually know as much information about the Marvel Cinematic Universe as I'm relatively new to the fandom so I don't know if I can do it justice and  
> 3\. Avengers Assemble is already so much of a goddamned fanfic that I can actually see this happening. 
> 
> Despite the AA setting, I decided to include Pepper, Happy and Coulson as they are fabulous and I refuse to believe they don't exist in that universe. Also in AA, the avenger's initiative is actually a lot more separate from SHIELD than this, and Tony actually canonically does have social media, which you can tell when he posts a video of Cap wiping out on jet boots on Youtube in the show, but for storyline purposes, I've elected to ignore that completely. :)
> 
> This is not beta read, I don't know if this is how public relations or science works, and I apologize for any impending crack caused cringe. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

The entire situation started as a publicity thing.

 

“I’m sorry, what?” Tony looks up from his phone for the first time in the team meeting that afternoon in order to stare at Fury’s unimpressed face.

“What did you just say you wanted us to do? Did I hear that correctly, or have I accidentally inhaled too many workshop fumes again?”

 

Fury, halfway through his current sentence, raises a rather threatening eyebrow in response.

 

“That’s it. He’s gone insane.” Tony sighed. “Someone notify Agent, his boss has lost his marbles.”

 

“Can it, Stark.” Fury’s scowl deepens. “This is not a suggestion.”

 

Tony looks around at his teammates slightly incredulously. Clint is fiddling around with his bow while Natasha sharpens her knife idly. Sam seems to be in the middle of typing new code, the Hulk is munching on something that he most definitely did not have when they entered the meeting, Thor is cleaning his hammer and Steve is diligently taking notes.

 

None of them seem to be alarmed.

 

“Um, am I the only one that seems to realize that this is a bad idea?” Tony asks, choosing to glare at Clint instead of the collective team as a whole. Glaring at Natasha is always a bad idea, and everything is usually Clint’s fault.

 

“To be fair.” Sam fiddles away at his phone, “I already have most of the social media sites.”

 

Tony points a finger at him, “Excuse me, the adults are talking. People under twenty don’t count, I don’t make the rules.” Sam gives Tony a very indignant look but Thor cuts in before he can respond.

 

“I see no reason why we cannot proceed with Fury’s plan.” He says solemnly. “Seems like a noble and valiant endeavour. Back on Asgard, warriors would oft tell tales of their wondrous battles in the great hall while breaking fast.”

 

“Um that’s great Thor, but not only do we need to maintain a certain air of mystique - shut up Clint, don’t give me that look, it’s a perfectly valid point - I don’t think we exactly have time to build up a media presence here. What with all the saving the world we do.”  Tony frowns. “Also what exactly is being implied here, I have plenty of media presence, I could _own_ like 90% of the media if I wanted to.”

 

Fury scowl deepens even more in Tony’s direction. “Your current media presence is not exactly the image we want the Avengers to project.” Tony opens his mouth to retort, possibly something along the lines of a cheerful “fuck” and “you”, but he gets interrupted by Steve before he has a chance to get a word out.

 

“Sir, I think Tony has a point with one of the objections he raised.” Tony has to resist the strong urge to yell “HA” in the SHIELD Director’s face.  He settles for grinning smugly instead. Fury pointedly ignores him.

 

“Captain?”

 

“Wouldn’t deciding to post on more social media sites give us a higher chance of becoming compromised? The internet is public domain, anyone could search us up, including any enemies we fight.”

 

“Captain Rogers, you all work in the limelight anyways, and I’m hardly asking you to write and post an autobiography. Just a couple of sites, certain comments here and there, maybe a short video or two. I’m not telling you to spill all your deepest darkest secrets, I’m asking for some control of your image.”

 

Tony opens his mouth again.

 

“Shut your mouth and let me finish Stark, or so help me, I will bench you for a week.”

 

Tony makes sure to discreetly give Fury the finger when he settles back into his chair and starts fiddling with his phone again.

 

Fury mutters to himself while massaging the bridge of his nose.

 

“The purpose of this is twofold.” he continues. “The press currently controls most of your public image, and opinions of the people can be swayed with the drop of a hat. I want you all to get a media presence that you alone can control. It will act as a counterbalance to all the shit that the press will inevitably say about you. It gives you a way to respond without a chance of outside people manipulating the information.”

 

Fury looks around as if daring anyone else to interrupt. “Anyone else” being Tony, as so far Clint, Natasha and Hulk have yet to express any emotion other than indifference, boredom and perpetual anger, respectively.

 

“The second reason is simply that people are afraid. The Avengers are something reformed after three long years. The public knows you’re the good guys, but they also know that you’re all very dangerous. We need you to seem human. Relatable.” Fury rubs his temples.  “It also doesn’t help that you seem to destroy about half of New York city every time you save it.” he mutters.

 

“With all due respect sir,” Steve eventually says. “I doubt a group consisting of a Norse God, a Super Soldier, a billionaire genius, a gamma ray expert, a skilled archer and two SHIELD agents can ever be considered relatable.”

 

Natasha shakes her head, finally speaking up. “You’d be surprised at how far a couple of idle comments and a smile can take you.” She grins, and Tony is suddenly reminded vividly of why she’s considered one of the most dangerous people on the planet. He inches slowly away from her. She raises an eyebrow at him, which is frankly terrifying.

 

Fury sighs.

“This topic is not up for debate. We have a PR issue I intend to fix as soon as possible, so I have assigned a junior SHIELD agent to help you work on the image you’re trying to project. She’ll get all of you setup for the standard sites needed, and everything you post will have to be approved by her first. I expect results by next week.”

 

Tony opens his mouth, yet again, to object with some amazingly intelligent and well thought out insights.

 

“Shut up Stark.” Fury responds automatically.

 

“Now all of you, get the fuck out of my building.”

 

* * *

 

 

Despite what Fury’s ordered, it's another two weeks before the plan actually gets put into action. There's about one and a half taking over the world incidents, a run in with Justin Hammer (ugh) and a couple of minor villains to deal with, so everyone is understandably Not In The Mood ™ when Fury calls them to SHIELD headquarters to finally introduce them to their new social media consultant.

 

Never let it be said that the Avengers can't sulk.

 

The consultant is young, in her early twenties and looks to be of Asian descent with black hair and caramel coloured skin. She’s also slouching in her chair at the meeting table with a laptop and paying absolutely no attention to Fury’s intimidating power stance.

 

Tony likes her already.

 

The Avengers all troop in with varying degrees of exhaustion, and no one even attempts to hide it. Clint yawns loudly and promptly falls asleep in his chair.

 

Fury sighs and visibly gives up trying to be professional about this. “Alright team, I’ll keep this short and sweet. This is Agent Jin.” The girl looks up from her laptop to give everyone a perfunctory nod, before going back to furiously typing. “She’s your PR consultant, and as a result shall be living with you in your little superhero tower. No you do not have a choice in the matter Stark.” Fury adds when Tony opens his mouth. “She’ll be moving in effective immediately, and I want all your accounts set up by tomorrow.” Fury looked to Agent Jin, and she looked up to give the Director a nod.

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“I also want you all to report to medical for a checkup before you leave.” Fury continues, eliciting a variety of glares. Even Steve looks disgruntled.

 

“There will be no arguments, do you understand me? You have been fighting non-stop for the last two weeks, and none of you have went to medical in that time frame. I refuse to believe there are no injuries. I want the defenders of Earth to be hale and healthy, and I assure you, you most definitely won’t be if you skip the medical checks _again_.”

 

Fury pauses to let this threat sink in. “Agent Romanov, I’m looking at you to keep them in line.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Dismissed.”

 

With Natasha on one side and Agent Jin flanking them on the other, the group makes their way down to SHIELD medical to be poked and prodded at.

 

Tony is released from their care surprisingly quickly, having obtained the least amount of injuries and being too exhausted to attempt to hinder the medical staff. He slumps onto a waiting room chair to wait for his teammates.

 

He can feel sleep lurking at the corners of his vision, and feels the ache of exhaustion sinking in his bones. These two weeks have been hell, call after call coming in. There was no time for any break, no leeway for rest. He’s slept for what, 20 hours in two weeks? He needs to be put in a medical coma for the next six months.

 

“Mr. Stark.”

 

“ _Ugh._ ” Tony doesn’t even pretend to care about the mildly offended look on Agent Jin’s face at his response.

 

“Alright, I’m going to ignore that considering how exhausted you are.” She says with a roll of her eyes. “I’m just notifying you that your driver Happy has arrived. He’s waiting at the front for you and the rest of your team.”

 

“He could have texted me this.”

 

“Well have you bothered to check your phone?”

 

Tony stares at her, with an expression that clearly says ‘does not compute’.

 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Tony slumps further down in his chair.

 

“Just let me sulk in peace woman.”

 

“Mr. Stark-”

 

“ _UGH_.”

 

“-considering you’re about two seconds away from sliding onto the floor, might I suggest leaving for the tower a couple minutes early to rest? I can have SHIELD issue cars sent out for the rest of your team.”

 

“Are they Hulk proof?”

 

“Um no.”

 

“Then we’re good, thanks for the offer though.”

 

Agent Jin stares at Tony with a vaguely constipated look on her face characteristic of those who decide to trifle with the mighty Tony Stark, and finally gives a soft huff of laughter.

 

“Alright, whatever you say man.” She sinks onto the seat beside Tony and pulls out her phone, immediately tapping away at it.

 

Tony ignores everything around him and soon drifts off into an exhausted doze. As soon as the rest of the Avengers are released, Agent Jin stands up like a woman on a mission and ushers them all downstairs and into Tony’s limo.

 

When they get to Avenger’s tower, she promptly introduces herself to Jarvis, and then proceeds to go to each one of their floors, shoving them out of the elevator door methodically as she gets to each. Tony vaguely wonders how she knows where all of them live, then decides that he really doesn’t give a shit.

 

She gets to Tony’s floor last.

 

“Get some sleep Mr. Stark.”

 

Tony mumbles something vague in response, which might include the words “fucking agents” and “security breach.” before faceplanting onto his couch.

 

He hears a snort from behind him, the whir of elevator doors closing, and then he’s out like a light.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony finally resurfaces into the land of the conscious the next day at around three in the afternoon. He stumbles into the bathroom, splashes some water in the general direction of his face and quickly brushes his teeth before he stumbles to the kitchen to seek out some coffee.

 

Steve is the only one who even resembles being fully awake, and is standing at the stove flipping pancakes. He’s wearing a ridiculous frilly pink apron.

 

The rest of the team are collapsed in chairs around the kitchen table in various states of dress, each with a cup of coffee in front of them. Tony stumbles towards the coffee machine, and without looking away from what he’s cooking, Steve calmly hands him a steaming cup.

 

“Marry me.” Tony mumbles, slumping down onto the floor against the cupboards next to the stove and hugging his cup of coffee. “You glorious bean, I’ll treat you so well, I’ll buy you all the best containers for you to sit in, the wedding will be glorious, we’ll get married in Paris at sunset.”

 

Steve gives him an immensely amused look.

“Are you whispering sweet nothings into a coffee cup?”

 

Tony hisses at him, and Steve rolls his eyes.

 

“Go sit, Gollum.” Steve says, kicking Tony in the shoulder. Tony retaliates by swatting him in the leg. Then he perks up.

 

“Did you just make a Lord of the Rings reference?” Tony asks, suddenly very interested.

 

“You were two seconds away from hissing ‘my precious’. I’m not _completely_ uncultured. Now, go sit before I Frodo that coffee.”

 

“Frodo didn’t purposely destroy the ring you ignorant swine.” Tony mutters sullenly, but drags himself off the floor to go claim a chair.

“You talk too much.” Clint groans from his faceplant on the table. “It’s too early for functional speech.”

 

Steve snorted. “What part of that conversation struck you as remotely functional?”

 

“Go away.”

 

“Well this is just fascinating.” A voice says from the doorway, and everyone except Natasha and the Hulk jumps.

 

“ _You_.” Tony says, squinting at the doorway.

 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Stark.”

 

“Ugh.”

 

“You mentioned that already.” Agent Jin strides into the room with an amused grin and goes to refill her empty coffee cup.  

 

“So do any of you plan on being productive today?”

 

There's a chorus of groans from around the table.

 

“No.” The Hulk grunts, scowling. Steve shrugs.

 

“I could possibly be persuaded.” He says, beaming that all American smile at Agent Jin. She responds with a bright grin of her own.

 

“Get thee gone demon!” Tony groans. “Away! With your dastardly enthusiasm.”

Which of course seems to confuse Thor greatly.

 

“Has the good captain suddenly become a creature of Helheim?”

He asks the Hulk, which really isn't going to help clear up the situation. The Hulk pats Thor sympathetically on the shoulder. Thankfully it's Thor, so he only jerks forward slightly instead of entirely face-planting in his coffee

 

“Well Captain, considering you seem the only one currently capable of higher brain function-”

 

“I resent that.” Tony mutters.

 

“-After you all eat your late breakfast  I can get you set up with your accounts and show you how each works.” she finishes, completely ignoring Tony which is just plain rude.

 

“Sounds great,” Steve smiles, turning around and setting a plate of pancakes on the table. Agent Jin brings over the plates and toppings and sets the table. Tony squints at her.

 

“How do you know where everything is?”

 

“I feel like Jarvis should be greatly offended at your lapse in memory.” Tony glances guiltily at his ceiling. Despite his protestations to the team that Jarvis does NOT live in the ceiling, he seems to have picked up their bad habit of talking to it nonetheless.

 

“Don't worry sir,” Jarvis’ amused lilt responds to Tony’s guilty ceiling glaring. “I have long since stopped taking offense at your various faux pas.”

 

Tony smirks. “You know me so well darling.”

 

“Of course sir.” Jarvis’ voice is dry as the desert.

 

Agent Jin rolls her eyes, taking a bite of her pancakes.

 

“So Agent,” Natasha finally says, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “Since you'll be living with us for who knows how long, got a first name to your last??”

 

“Tara,” she says with a smile at Natasha. “You all can call me that if you wish. And can I just say, it's an honour to meet you ma’am.”

 

Natasha responds with a small but warm smile. Clint gives Agent Jin an offended look, “What am I, chopped liver?”

 

Tara laughs. “In what universe? You’re legendary in the junior division for your various pranks.”

 

“Hells yeah!” Barton crows, offering Tara a high five. She returns it enthusiastically.

 

“Security has been trying to get us to stop climbing into the vents for months.” She announces smugly.

 

Sam let's out a laugh. “I remember you guys. I wasn't in your division, but man did you give those security guys trouble.”

She smirks.

 

“Where have you been all my life?” Clint sobs, pulling her into an impromptu hug.

“Are you my daughter? I think I should adopt you.”

 

“Lord help us, Barton as a father?” Tony laughs. Clint releases Tara from his hug in order to glare at Tony for max effect.

 

“Fuck off Stark, I’d make an excellent dad.”

 

“Certainly Agent Barton” comes Jarvis’ dry and rather spontaneous input. Everyone bursts out laughing.

 

“Abuse. The lot of you. Abuse.” Clint shakes his head, but goes back to eating with a smile.

 

Conversation continues comfortably, everyone reveling in finally having a normal afternoon meal to themselves.

 

Of course eventually Clint decides to steal a pickle off the Hulk’s plate, and the nice afternoon breakfast quickly descends into all hell. There's shouting, and smashing, and pancakes everywhere.

 

When the meal is over and Tony leaves to go wash whipped cream off his hair, he does it with a smile.

 


	2. Chapter 2

After the Avenger’s hectic two week marathon of world saving, the universe seems to decide to finally give them all a brief break.

 

The next day dawns, and the world is strangely peaceful, no giant robots or techno-paths, weird Germans or insane alien creatures in sight. Instead, the cool lingering touch of late winter seems to be fading into a tentative spring, and the Avengers find themselves settling into a semblance of a schedule in the upcoming days, without the constant demand of superheroing (and yes that is TOTALLY a verb) to disrupt the flow.

 

They grow together as a team, after having been apart for so long, and re-learn the ins and outs of living in the same space.

 

Despite everything, despite Tony being the one who had made the final decision all those years ago to disband the Avengers, despite his insecurities of never being enough, not being able to make the right call, Tony has to admit that he is glad for their continued company.

 

He upgrades Hawkeye’s arrows, and replaces Widow’s worn uniform, and makes Cap do insane obstacle courses, and buys Hulk glass figurines, and works in the lab with Sam and listens to Thor talk about Asgard, and gets repeatedly dragged out of the lab by Jarvis and the bots and it's...nice. Familiar. Comforting. Those insecurities have been the quietest they’ve been in years, and Tony can't help but be grateful.

 

And despite Tony’s initial objections to Fury placing one more person under his roof without his consent, Tony has to admit to becoming rather fond of Agent Jin, and her bright and ruthlessly efficient presence.

 

Which is not say of course, that he knows how to properly interact with her.

 

“I think I might despise you.”

 

“Good to know, Mr. Stark.”

 

“ _Ugh_.”

 

Tony has thus far managed to escape Tara’s clutches for the last week or so, having run for the hills everytime she even mentioned the words “account” or “social media”. Sadly, Tara seems to have eventually given up on trying to be polite and had somehow managed to gain access to Tony’s workshop in order to pester him about following through on his duties. Tony has expressed his customary displeasure by threatening to donate Jarvis to a community college along with DUM-E post-haste, and is now parked in front of one of his holographic screens, with Agent Jin tapping into a variety of different sites. She’s trying to get Tony to be cooperative, which is quite frankly a lost cause.

 

“This is convoluted.”

 

“Something in here is convoluted Mr. Stark, and it certainly isn’t the technology.”

 

“Ugh. Also, I am going to assume you’re talking about yourself and ignore that entirely.” Tara sighs in a resigned way.

 

“This platform is utterly horrid. I could design more user friendly ones in my sleep.”

 

“Well until you do Mr. Stark, you’re just gonna have to stick with using these ones.”

 

Tony wrinkles his nose and greatly refrains from letting out another exasperated ‘ugh’. “Call me Tony.”

 

“Sir?”

 

“Tony.” Tony repeats. “TO-NY. No more Mr. Stark nonsense unless you want me ugh-ing at you for the rest of our acquaintance.”

 

“Well, it _is_ the highlight of my day.”

 

“Look out, Agent Sassy shows her face again.”

 

Tara sticks her tongue out at Tony.

 

“Rude.” he squints. “Are shield agents allowed to stick out their tongues at people? I think you just broke at least three different laws, one being that SHIELD agents must always maintain their air of mystique and the I-can-decapitate-you-with-one-finger stoicness. You’re an international fugitive now, what an utter tragedy.”

 

Tara sighs. “Password.” She shoves the holographic screen very close to Tony’s face.

 

“I’m just _saying_ that it might as well be an actual law at this point, given how you all just seem to be perfect robots.” Tony says, typing in a 48 digit password without even looking. He also quickly hacks into the website to up the security of the Avenger accounts. Tara watches him do all this with wary resignation. “And this is coming from a man who builds AI’s and machines for a living. You are all too android-like. I don’t trust it.”

 

He finishes his hacking, and gives a final click with a faint smirk in Tara’s direction.

 

“You bastard, you didn’t even look at the screen once through all that.” She says incredulously. “Geni. Bastards the lot of you.”

 

“Yeah yeah, whatever kid, Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, am I done? Also why the fuck do I have a tumblr. ”

 

She gives him an unimpressed look but reluctantly nods. “Yes, I suppose you’re done. First post tomorrow morning. You are severely behind schedule.”

 

She turns around and begins to walk away quickly.

 

“Still haven’t answered my question.” Tony calls out.

 

“Given the way you are Tony,” she says, opening the lab door. “You and Tumblr are a match made in heaven, trust me.”

 

And with that the door closes with a perfunctory click, leaving Tony to wonder if he should feel insulted.

 

He eventually decides to think nothing more of it, and goes back to work.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony feels like shit the next morning.

 

It’s just one of those days. He knows the feeling before it starts, the tension in the air, in his temples.

 

He’s doing better in quieting those insecurities of his, that conditioning that started ever since he was a kid. He knows he is, but there are still those off days where he just doesn’t feel himself, where he itches in his skin, and all he wants to do is reach for a bottle. It just happens. Sometimes he can identify the trigger, but other times, it’s just there. Could be a forgotten nightmare. Could be a reminder of Howard. Tony tries not to dwell too closely on it. There’s no reason to, since he knows it will pass, just like it always does.

 

There will eventually be a reminder from JARVIS, or a call from Pepper, or a smirk from Natasha, a clap on the back from Hulk(ouch), a smile from Steve, a comment from Clint, a declaration from Thor, and Tony will remember and think, oh. So this is how it is. And he’ll smile back, that genuine imperfect thing he _does_ have, and his mood will dissipate like morning dew.

 

That’ll come to pass and he’ll seek them out eventually. He’s gone through this routine enough times before the Avengers disbanded to know how it goes.

 

Until then though, Tony needs his time and space to just. Be. Do what he does best. Take his frustrations out on a hunk of metal.

 

So he locks himself in his workshop and starts inventing until his antisocial mood passes.

 

It’s rather hard to do so when he’s receiving flurry upon flurry of social media requests though.

 

There’s snapchat notifications and facebook friend requests and dozens of different messages from everyone and Tony takes one look at it all and shuts off his phone entirely.

 

He doesn’t mind social media, and he definitely doesn’t mind the internet. Hell, he knows how to _hack_ the internet, and he’s done it on multiple occasions for a variety of reasons.

 

The internet is great, but there are times, like now, where Tony just wants a bit of peace while in the workshop. He’s spent this entire life photographed and chased by camera flashes. His lab is the one place that he can be private, and he doesn’t intend for that to change. And if Tony is being entirely honest with himself, he doesn't view this little social media plan as any more than an exercise in futility, and more than a little annoying when it interferes with Tony’s work.

 

Besides, distractions while using a soldering iron is not a good idea.

 

So he keeps his phone shut off for the remainder of the time he’s in the lab, and he’s getting his frustration out, can feel his headache ebbing away, and everything is fine up until Agent Jin decides to hunt his ass down. Again.

 

“I see you have yet to post or respond to any of your requests.” Tara says, somehow having made it into his workshop despite him having locked it. Shield access codes. Ugh.

 

Tony can feel his foul mood start responding to Tara’s disapproving tone, and quickly tries to reel it in.

 

“Good morning to you too, Jin.” Tony mutters. He’s really not in the mood. It’s too soon.

 

His schematics aren’t working at the moment, and he has yet to figure out why. His two hours of sleep also seem to have made his exhaustion worst instead of better, his head pounds, he seems to have a mildly compromised sense of balance.

 

Tara raises her eyebrow at the name choice, but doesn’t respond.

“You need to actually respond to things, or Director Fury is gonna be on _my_ ass about it.”

“That sounds like your problem.” Tony responds, irritably. “Not mine.”

 

She stares at him.

 

“How long have you been awake?”

“What?” Tony mumbles, distracted and feverishly typing, “What the hell does that have to do with anything. Look, don’t worry, I’ll finish this schematic and get right on your facebooking, snapchatting or whatever the fuck it’s called.”  He grunts, frustrated and waves his hand, trashing the entire second part of his blueprints since that’s going to result in blowing up half of Manhattan which is very Not Good.

 

“JARVIS, how long has Tony been awake?”

“He’s been awake for about 92 hours, having slept 4 hours in the last four days in 2 hour chunks. He hasn’t eaten a proper meal for the last day and half.” Agent Jin’s eyebrows shoot to her forehead.

 

“Is this...unusual?”

 

“It’s not even the longest I’ve gone without sleep,” Tony mumbles vaguely, “Sleep is for the weak and for peasants, this is barely college level sleep deprived.”

 

“Tony you need to sleep.”

 

“No.”

 

“Tony-”

 

“Look,” he snaps, frustrated and thoroughly done with this conversation. He tries to soften his attitude, but he’s tired, his head hurts, he just can’t deal with this right now, why wasn’t the energy source _working_ . “Agent Jin, you’re here to do your job. Last I checked your job was _not_ to enforce a bedtime. So thanks, but no thanks.”

 

Agent Jin glares at him, but he continues to blatantly ignore her. Eventually he hears angry footsteps, and the sound of the lab door sliding closed.

 

He closes his eyes tiredly. Great.

 

It’s only twenty minutes later that someone else comes to bother him. The person sets down a coffee mug next to his elbow.

 

“Well, that was rude.” an amused voice comments.

 

Tony stares at Steve, and then down at the coffee cup. There’s a couple minutes of glaring.

 

“Damn you.” Tony sighs, finally taking the coffee and sits down on one of his lab benches.

 

“See, this is why Agent Jin had trouble.” Steve continues, amused smirk softening into a genuine smile. He pokes Tony in the shoulder, and Tony swats at him halfheartedly. “She doesn’t know how to negotiate with you.”

 

“Neither do you.” Tony mumbles sullenly into his cup.

 

Steve gets that expression on his face that means, ‘I would be rolling my eyes at you if I wasn’t so polite’. “So you want to tell me why Tara went upstairs to help me cook lunch but ended up mutilating a bunch of carrots instead?”

 

“She didn’t tell you?” Tony asks, turning back to his blueprints.

 

“No? She mentioned ‘snitches get stitches’ and then violently chopped a cabbage in half so I decided not to pry.” Steve said wryly. Tony huffs in amusement despite himself.

 

“That kid is something else.”

 

Steve sighs. “So can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

 

Tony purses his lips and shrugs.

 

“Just...one of those days.” He says softly, going back to tapping away at his schematic. Steve doesn’t say anything in response, and the silence stretches, punctuated by the soft clicks of Tony typing away at the keyboard.

 

When Tony finally gets too curious about the continued silence, he glances over out of the corner of his eye, and he sees that Steve has set up shop at a corner of his workstation, having walked over with silent footsteps as always. He’s doodling away on a spare sheet of paper, the quiet scritching of graphite, calm and peaceful expression on his face. He doesn’t push, he doesn’t try and fill the silence. He sits there and is just a presence, a gentle reminder, knowing exactly what Tony needs when he himself didn’t, and he’s suddenly so overwhelmed, so filled with affection that he aches with it.  

He turns resolutely back to his screen, mouth going up in a small smile despite himself.

 

The comfortable silence lasts for another two hours before Tony finally reluctantly shuts down his schematics.

 

“Ok.” he says on a sigh, “I should probably go apologize.”

 

He smiles crookedly when Steve looks up and gives him a mildly skeptical look. Tony finds himself sticking his tongue out at him.

 

“Don’t look at me like that.” Tony puts a hand on his chest in fake affront. “I can be nice. Maybe.”

 

And Steve smiles at that, soft, because he knows. He knows it’s passed. Tony loves him all the more for it.

 

“If you say so Tony. And eat some food while you’re at it.”

 

“Geez, one thing at a time Cap, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.”

 

Steve doesn't respond to this, instead dragging him out of the lab by his arm.

 

He gets fed and watered, and then put to bed in that order, by mother-hen Captain America, who Tony has discovered is impossible to escape once he gets up to his mother-henning ways.

 

Then once he wakes up again, refreshed and feeling loads better, he does end up talking to Tara, has a productive conversation even, and she seems to get it, accepts his apology, then punches him an arm with a fond “take better care of yourself dumbass” and a soft smile.

 

Then Tony finds himself rolling his eyes amusedly when she immediately drags him off to work on his social media presence, citing that he owes her.

 

It’s fun, now that he’s no longer feeling like crap.

She helps him out with all of his different accounts. If asked, Tony will still assert that he’s doing this all under great duress, but he does begin to see the merit.

 

He likes Snapchatting the other Avengers and Tara because against what all evidence might suggest, it _is_ fun, although he lacks a bit when it comes to posting photos on Instagram.

 

He also enjoys causing havoc on twitter. Politically correct havoc of course, as Tara has to approve of the comments. Although Tara being just out of her teenage years herself, Tony is allowed to get away with quite a lot more than he expected.

 

He friends a bunch of people he barely knows on Facebook, and then proceeds to use it solely to nag Happy into picking up some milk. He doesn't want to get into the whole poking thing, he barely understands Facebook as it is.

 

And Tumblr. Oh boy Tumblr.

 

After the first fifteen minutes of browsing through some Tumblr shitposting web pages randomly, Tony has to stop himself from rubbing his hands together and cackling like a bad Hollywood villain.

 

After the first two hours of Tony using Tumblr, Tara has to physically stop him from buying out the website. These are his _people._

 

So yeah. Tony decides that social media might not be so bad. He stops viewing it as another way for the world to stare, and instead uses it to talk to interesting people halfway across the world, and keep in contact with long distance friends. It's pretty awesome actually. Tony’s not surprised, technology generally is.

 

Although, when he’s sitting on the couch laughing at bad movie effects with the rest of the Avengers and Tara, chucking popcorn at the TV screen, with Steve sitting warm at his side, Tony has to admit that no matter how wide the internet may reach, it still can't really hold a candle to the real thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I gave Tony a Tumblr, because he's literally a walking shitpost and I love it.


	3. Chapter 3

It happens entirely by accident.

 

Tony was tinkering in his workshop with Sam, who had requested that he turn down the music, since he can't concentrate with it on. Tony had rolled his eyes but turned off AC/DC as per request.

 

It was only when Sam had given him a curious look and a raised eyebrow an hour later that Tony realized somewhere along the way, he’d started unobtrusively singing. Way quieter than the original songs of course, because Tony’s larynx doesn't do...that. Sam didn't seem to mind the quiet humming and muttering of lyrics as a backdrop to the whirring of machinery. And so without any further complaints, Tony had gone back to programming, absentmindedly singing under his breath. He loses himself in his work.

 

Up until there's a huge shriek followed by an ear splitting crash. Tony spins to see Agent Jin on the floor, rubbing her head from where she collided with the glass lab door. Sam is already attempting to help her up, having been working nearer to her than Tony was.

 

“Tara, you ok?” Sam asks worriedly.

 

“Did you just walk into a glass door?” Tony asks incredulously.

 

“YOU CAN SING.” She shrieks, instead of answering either inquiries.

 

“What, why do you never answer my questions?” Tony will admit that he flails his arms a bit. “They are perfectly valid questions.”

 

“Thank you Sam, I’m fine.” She says with a smile when he keeps fussing over her. Then she fixes Tony with a stare. “You can sing.” She says, pointing.

 

“Um, no.”

“You were singing.”

“No, I wasn't.”

“Tony, you kinda were.” Sam cuts in, having gone back to his keyboard when he had determined that Agent Jin was ok.

 

“Et tu Brute? Betrayal Sam.”

 

“Sure sure, betrayal.” Sam repeats, utterly unconcerned.

 

“That's it, both of you, get out of my tower. Leave.” Tony says, then squawks when he’s grabbed by the arm and dragged across the lab towards the exit by a very enthusiastic SHIELD agent.

 

“What are you doing, where are you taking me, SAM-” His voice is cut off with the slamming of the glass lab door. Sam rolls his eyes and proceeds to take over Tony’s calculations as well.

 

Tony gets dragged all the way from his workshop into the elevator and up to the floor where Tara’s rooms are. Namely where she apparently has a bunch of recording equipment in a walk-in closet.

 

“Why the hell do you have so many microphones and what am I doing here.” Tony says, planting in his feet and grabbing the door frame before he can get shoved into her closet. Agent Jin has a glint in her eye that Tony really doesn't trust.

 

“I’ve just found out you can _sing._ And you’ve kept it from me all this time?!?”

 

Tara flails her arms indignantly.

 

“Why the hell would I willingly volunteer this information.” Tony asks, watching her wearily.

 

“I have been wracking my brain for so long,” she says, jabbing a finger at Tony. “for a way to endear you all to the general population. You guys haven't exactly given me the greatest reputations to work with.”

 

“Hey.” Tony protests vaguely. It's pretty true, so his protest is rather half-hearted.

“What does singing have to do with this.”

 

“Everyone loves people who aren't professionally in the music industry yet can play music.” Agent Jin raises her hands in a what-can-you-do gesture. “Trust me. The minute you can sing? You’ve won their hearts, game, set and match.”

 

“That sounds very illogical.”

 

“It's the truth is what it is. I don't make the rules.”

 

“I feel like the rules are being set by twelve year old fangirls.”

 

Agent Jin glares. “You’re not getting out of this. It's _my_ ass on the line rn. Fury expects results and so far you’ve all given me a whole bunch of nothing. It's either this, or cat videos. And you don't have a cat.”

 

“I could get a cat.” Tony mumbles sullenly.

 

“Or you could take the easy way out and let me record a video of you singing.” Tara suggests, gesturing behind her.

“It doesn't need to be a serious video, you could take a song and write an Avengers parody for all I care, people love that stuff.”

 

Tony continues to glare at her.

 

“It’ll be fun.” she tries.

 

He frowns.

 

“I’ll make you look good.” She adds.

 

He continues to frown at her, and is understandably shocked when Tara suddenly gives up on all pretenses, and grabs Tony in a strangle hug.

 

“PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO IT, I _like_ this job, I get to be a fucking teenager and get paid for it, if I get fired I’ll have to go back to toilet duty at shield, do you even know how _horrid_ it is cleaning after a bunch of twenty year olds on Taco Tuesday-”

 

“OK OK”  Tony wheezes desperately, smacking her on the arm like a penguin. “I’ll do it stop suffocating me.”

Tara let’s go immediately with a loud whoop and backflips all the way to her equipment. Which is a rather difficult thing to do while in a closet. Tony stares.

 

“Alright sit.” She says, pointing to a chair. Then she squints at Tony.

“Are you ok with being on camera wearing your iron man undersuit?”

 

Tony glances down at his black bodysuit and shrugs. There aren't any noticeable grease stains.

 

“Sure, why not. I got nothing to hide.” He says, smirking.

 

“You’ve got nothing to show either.” Tara responds and then lets out a squawk when Tony chucks a book at her.

 

“Watch the equipment!” She shrieks, throwing herself on the sound board.

Tony rolls his eyes.

 

“Sometime today Jin if you please, I’m a busy guy.”

 

Tara passes him her laptop.

 

“Choose a song.”

 

“IS THIS A MACBOOK” Tony asks, recoiling.

 

“Choose a song.”

 

“I am ashamed to know you. Apple minion.” Tony wrinkles his nose at the laptop but obligingly clicks through the song choices. “I’m giving you a Stark industries laptop, this programming is so stupidly rigid.”

 

“I suggest your first song to be something humorous.” She says, completely ignoring everything Tony is saying.

 

“First? As in, first of many?” Tony asks, eyebrow raised.

 

“As in first time we’re trying this out to see how it goes.” Tara reassures. “Although there's no promises I won't make you do it again. If you purposely fuck this up I will definitely make you do it again.”

 

Tony hums. “How about this one?”

 

Tara looks. “Musical song? Huh. Wouldn't have thought you were the type.”

 

Tony gives her an offended look. “Musicals are great. And this is iconic.”

 

She laughs placing a microphone in front of Tony and positioning a camera. “Alright, alright, calm down man, musicals it is.”

 

* * *

 

 

Tony’s phone beeps after Tara finally shuts off the camera, already uploading the video into the computer. She raises her eyebrows at him, one headphone pressed to her ear as she listens to the recording.

 

Tony gives her an unrepentant grin and opens his phone to look at the notification.

 

_Snapchat from Capsicle_

 

Tony frowns, slightly confused. So far Steve hasn't been that active on social media, despite having had his account set up first. Tony had thought that he just hadn't known how to use any of it, or had been holding off due to unfamiliarity, but apparently not.

 

Tony shrugs and clicks on it.

 

The resulting picture that comes up has him laughing so hard he almost falls off his chair.

 

Steve is obviously currently on the streets, wearing his usual baseball cap and sunglasses. The pic is blurry with motion however, his sunglasses eskew and baseball hat lopsided, terrified expression on his face. Behind him is clearly an Apple store, and in front of said store is an employee that appears to be chasing him with a flyer.

 

The caption reads “FUCKING HELL APPLE WHY”

 

Tony wheezes, trying to get his laughter under control before opening his camera. He gives it his best stern look, and then takes out the drawing app, adding a cowl and a shield. He captions this pic “Language!” And promptly sends it.

 

The picture he receives back has Tony rolling his eyes.

 

Steve has clearly managed to shake off his pursuer at this point and has already fixed up his baseball cap. His sunglasses sits low on the bridge of his nose, and he’s in the process of pushing it up. He’s wearing that all-American beam, smile radiant, and it looks so innocent Tony almost believes that Steve is pushing up his sunglasses with his middle finger by accident.

 

No caption, but message received loud and clear. Tony laughs.

 

* * *

 

 

The Snapchatting between Steve and him become a regular thing.

 

Tony is already always on his phone anyways, but he’s been noticing that now his level of productivity seems to be dropping the longer he spends sending goofy pics to Steve. People also seem to be giving him weird looks every time he’s in public, on account of the fact it’s not everyday you see Tony Stark making funny faces at his phone in the local Starbucks.

 

When Steve sends back an utterly ridiculous picture of half his smiling face with Clint in the background attempting to balance a pickle on his nose, Tony figures it’s a worthwhile trade.

 

* * *

 

 

When Tara posts the video she had recorded of Tony a week later, it goes viral.

 

He is apparently the last person in the entire world to find out, via Clint when he lept out of one of the vents in the hallway, screaming about how the video is #1 on trending and scaring the ever loving crap out of Tony in the process.

 

He honestly hadn't expected to enjoy filming as much as he had. He’s spent his entire life in front of cameras, and he’s always felt the suffocation of it acutely, and didn't expect this situation to be any different. Except now, while he’s discussing different camera angles and the way a certain shot is supposed to look with Tara, he can finally choose the way he wants to express himself. He has a choice, and it's…oddly freeing.

 

There's also enough bloopers and swearing to make up a twenty minute video which is a testimony to how much fun Tony actually had.

 

He has decidedly less fun when he walks into the living room to see all the Avengers planted on the couch with his video playing on the big screen TV.

 

“Must you.” He whines.

 

“SHHHH.” Everyone replies.

 

“JARVIS.” He protests. The volume of the TV increases.

 

The scene starts with Tony sitting in front of the mike wearing a gigantic pair of headphones. He’s shuffling through sheet music, apparently not noticing the camera is on.

 

“Any day now Stark.” Tara comments from behind the camera, which prompts Tony to look up and stick his tongue out at the camera.

 

“I’m putting that in the video, just so you know,” Tara continues.

 

“Just play the damn music.”

 

The first strains of piano drifts out of the TV speakers and Natasha whirls around with glee.

 

“YOU SANG WAIT FOR IT FROM HAMILTON” She crows. “You as Aaron Burr? _You?!_ ”

 

“Shut up” Tony groans and ducks into the kitchen. Or tries to anyways. Clint backflips over the couch and promptly drags him back to sit with them.

 

“Why are you doing this to meee” he whines.

 

“Shhhh" Everyone shushes him again.

Steve puts his hand over Tony’s mouth and Tony glares at him, to which Steve responds with a cheeky smile.

 

Tony endures the next three minutes of his own singing. He knows he doesn’t have a bad voice. Far from it in fact, and he can definitely carry a tune. But there's just something about watching himself sing that just makes him want to cringe.

 

There's also the fact that there's an...earnestness that he hadn't noticed he was projecting when he was recording the video. The song hits close to home, despite the situations and names being different, and it shows.

 

Tony shakes Steve's hand off and buries his face in a pillow.

 

The room is silent by the time the video finally finishes.

 

“Holy crap.” Steve whispers, sounding awed.

 

“A noble tune.” Thor booms.

 

“Kill me.” Tony squeaks.

 

Hulk pulls Tony into a gigantic hug, which he is both simultaneously touched and terrified by.

 

“TARA.” He shrieks, wheezing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So.” Tara says, plonking herself next to Tony on the couch later that day.

 

“No.” Tony responds automatically, tapping away at his tablet.

 

“But it went over so well! You did amazing” She said smiling happily at him. “I underestimated your star power. _Jesus_. Number one on trending in under two hours.”

 

“Great, I’ll be a one hit wonder because I’m never doing that again.”

 

Tara looks confused. “I thought you had fun? You said you liked it.”

 

Tony gives her a dry look. “Hulk didn't let me go for three hours Jin. THREE. HOURS.”

 

Tara shakes her head, trying to hide a smile. “Awww, the Avengers are protecting their tiny engineer.”

 

Tony looks over to see the corner of her mouth twitching.

“You’re laughing at me.” He complains.

 

“I’m not!” she protests, blatantly laughing. “But it was really fun.” She bats her eyelashes. “Please??”

 

Tony laughs and shakes his head. “Sorry kiddo. Once is enough for me.”

 

She pouts at him but Tony goes back to his tablet, trying not to smile again. Eventually, Tony hears her leave but pays no mind to it.

 

Twenty minutes later, Steve plonks himself down on the sofa next to him.

 

“Oh come on,” Tony laughs, when Steve pushes a coffee cup into his hand, smirking. “What are you, her Tony ambassador?”

 

Steve doesn't respond, simply sits there and blinks at him, all wide baby-blues and innocent smile. Tony doesn't buy it for a second.

 

“I swear we didn't have a fight this time, Tara and I are good.” Tony rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning. Agent Jin somehow roped Captain America into this. That kid is going places.

 

“Who said anything about Tara?” Steve asks, shit-eating grin on his face. “Wanna go get something to eat?”

 

Tony stares. “You’re not even trying to be subtle about this bribing thing.”

 

“What bribing thing?”

 

Tony smacks him on the arm playfully. “Stop it, you’re not slick.”

 

Steve snorts, but grabs Tony by the arm and pulls him up.

 

“Come on, whatever you want. I’m paying.”

 

“You seem to make it a habit to drag me places.” Tony says, trying to disentangle his arm. “Also, that's _my_ line.”

 

“ _You_ can't pay for dinner. That's not how bribing works.”

 

“AHA.” Tony shrieks, while being towed to the elevator. “So you admit it.”

 

“Admit what?”

 

“What do you mean 'admit what’, I have security cameras, this is being recorded. JARVIS?”

 

“I’m sorry sir, I have no record of the previous conversation.” Jarvis responds smugly.

 

“Traitor!” Tony shouts over the sound of Steve's laughter.

 

“Of course sir.”

 

Steve gives him a smug look, and Tony glares at him before joining him in the elevator.

 

Despite the front that Tony tends to put up, he’s actually looking forward to spending some time with Steve. With all the superheroing they’ve been doing, as well as the Stark Industries business deals and the new upgrades he’s had to put in, he’s barely seen Steve in person beyond communal meals and Steve dragging him out of the lab to sleep and eat. They snapchat frequently of course, but that’s hardly a substitute for actual human company.

 

“So, any preference for transportation?” Tony asks as the elevator descends to the garage.

 

Steve hums. “How about motorcycle this time around?”

 

Tony blinks, surprised. “Yeah, definitely.”

 

Steve smiles at him, warm and genuine, and Tony can't help smiling back.

 

They make it to the restaurant in record time, because although Steve drives like the 90 year old man he is in cars, the rules apparently don't apply to two wheeled vehicles.

 

They shoot down the road at breakneck speed, and Tony whoops and hollers and laughs the entire journey there, stomach dropping away, adrenaline rushing through his veins like fire, with the irregular flutter of a heartbeat behind his reactor.

 

It's cold on the highway, but Steve is like a living furnace, a constant warmth in the cool evening air. They pull into the parking lot, and Steve parks his motorcycle in the designated spot expertly. He’s clearly been here before.

 

“Well, _you_ sure had fun,” Steve teases as Tony slides off the motorcycle.

 

“Yeah, well you know me,” Tony breathes, exhilarated. “Adrenaline junkie.”

 

Steve gives him a fond look when Tony tosses him his helmet, and they make their way into the restaurant.

 

They have a nice evening out.

 

If Tony’s entirely honest, he absolutely loves when he can go out to eat with Steve. Sure, he likes it back at the tower, but there's always so many distractions in that warm communal atmosphere that he finds it hard pressed to concentrate on any one person.

 

Here, he can give all of his attention to Steve, listening him talk about his day and tell stories about a life long past. He lights up from within when he talks, and it's mesmerizing.

 

And in turn Tony can blab on and on about his various experiments and Steve amazingly never seems to become bored. Sometimes Tony wonders if he’s even human, because it takes a special kind of wonderful to be able to deal with Tony’s constant jabbering. It’s warm and familiar and comfortable the way that few of Tony’s personal relationships are.

 

Tony tries not to look too much into it.

 

They've paid and are walking back towards the parking lot when Tony finally asks. “So, are you gonna actually follow through on your bribe and try and convince me to do the video?”

 

Steve blinks at him, confused for a second before it finally seems to register what Tony’s referring to.

“Oh that,” Steve laughs, waving a hand. “Nah. Actually, I was kinda using that as an excuse to have dinner with you. You went along with it, so I was hardly gonna argue.”

 

“You sneaky bastard.” Tony gasps, trying to ignore the hidden warmth that Steve’s words cause. “I’ve been played. _Used_.”

 

“Oh, so you got a free meal and a chance to go out. You poor baby.” Steve smirks.

 

“Shut up, you think you’re funny Cap, well you’re not.” Tony sticks his tongue out at him. Steve rolls his eyes in response, which is pretty much on par for the course with their interactions.

 

“Although, now that you bring it up, I did like that video you put out.” Steve beams at him. Tony looks at him, surprised.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, totally. I won’t try to convince you to make more because that’s 100% your call, but yeah, you did amazing. You have a beautiful voice Tony, and the emotions you showed in that video were spot on. I almost believed you were Aaron Burr for a second.”

 

“Dear Lord, _me_ as Aaron Burr?”

 

“I _know_ , you’d have to learn how to bite your tongue for once in your life.” Steve laughs and Tony smacks him on the arm.

 

“Watch it Cap.” Tony warns, “You can only push Aaron Burr so much and then...” He makes two finger guns, points them at Cap and makes a couple pew pew sound effects.

 

Steve obligingly gasps and grabs his chest, stumbling and collapsing against his motorcycle seat.

Tony snorts at the ridiculous tableau Steve makes and quickly snaps a picture, captions it “I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up” and sends it to the Avengers and Tara.

 

“Traitor,” Steve mumbles, grinning and tossing Tony a helmet.

 

Tony grins but doesn’t reply.

 

The next day when Tara pesters him(yet again) to make another video with her, Tony finds himself reluctantly agreeing.

 

(He resolutely ignores the whipped sound effects Clint makes from the kitchen when he assents)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need to make Hamilton Musical references so I did. I am also ignoring all the potential angst of comparing Tony's life to Aaron's because NO. Fluff and rainbows for this one. 
> 
> Also just a disclaimer that I'll try and upload/write the chapters as frequently as possible, but I can't promise anything, so just be forewarned when reading this fic. I managed to post three chapters within the same day because I had finished them first before deciding to put it on AO3. 
> 
> Oh yes, the song Tony sings is "Wait For It" from Hamilton, because I thought it was rather on brand with Tony's backstory :)
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

Tony is kidnapped on the subsequent Tuesday.

 

All in all, it's not a particularly good kidnapping. It’s honestly more of a technicality than anything dangerous, like _technically_ Tony is being held here against his will, being zip-corded to an uncomfortable plastic chair is not often his idea of a good time, but, hospital waiting room-esque chair aside, he doesn't have that many complaints.

 

So, after assessing the general threat level, Tony finds himself rather amused, which is not something he can often say when it comes to potential villains.

 

The kid, and Tony is fairly certain this so called villain is no older than 19 at most, even with the mask he's wearing, is currently dramatically gesturing as he monologues about his brilliant invention, destruction of New York, enslavement of humanity blah blah blah.

 

The plan itself is too convoluted to even have a chance at working but Tony will admit that the death ray seems to have merit. Not a bad design at all. And that’s saying something considering he’s the one saying it.

 

“EXCUSE ME.”

 

Tony snaps out of his thoughts when the kid flicks him on the forehead.

 

“Really?” He grumbles, disgruntled that he can't retaliate. There’s a couple of moments of silence, and although Tony can't actually see the kid's eyes or face he's pretty sure that he's being stared at incredulously.

 

“Did you just _zone out_ ?” the kid finally says.  “In the middle of me explaining how I'm going to _kill you_ ? Who _does_ that?!” The kid’s voice cracks into a squeak at the end of his exclamation. Definitely younger than 19 then.

 

Tony rolls his eyes. “Look kid, I’ve heard it all. Didn’t really think you had anything new to say.” He tilts a little on the uncomfortable plastic chair to look around the kid and nod at the death ray. “Nice machine though. I like the colour scheme.” The villain stares at him some more.

 

“Be. Scared. Of. Me.” he yells, clapping in between each word to emphasize his sentence. Tony snorts in response.

 

“Look kid-”

 

“-my name is _Quantum_ , which you would have known if you actually _pay attention-_ ”

 

“Heyyyy that’s pretty good.” Tony interrupts to comment. “A lot better than some other villain names out there, I mean we’ve got a Doctor Doom, we’ve got fucking Dracula, some knuckleheads decided _The Wrecking Crew_ was a good name for their team, like how-”

 

“This. This is my life now” the kid - _Quantum_ \- mutters in despair. Tony doesn’t think he’s supposed to hear it, but he decides to comment on it anyways.

 

“ _You’re_ the one who decided to kidnap me,” he points out, attempting to scooch the chair backwards a bit with his toes absently, “and built a death ray, I mean, really, you’re kinda just asking for it at this point, just be glad you’re not dealing with Cap, that star-spangled entity of sass once asked me if a coffee machine was coal powered, do _not_ let those innocent blue eyes fool you-”

 

“I should have gagged you.” Quantum sighs.

 

“ _Hey._ Rude _and_ uncalled for.” Tony frowns at him.  

 

“Sorry.”

 

Tony nods in satisfaction at the half-assed apology and then goes back to his original point before he got sidetracked.

 

“Anyways. Kid-”

 

“ _Quantum_ ”

 

“-I don’t really know why you’re doing this-”

 

“-that's your own fault for _not listening -_ ”

 

“-but the Avengers are gonna be here any minute now,” Tony finished with a raised eyebrow, “so I suggest you take your death ray there and skedaddle before they get here.”

 

“Wait. What?” The kid tilts his head sideways in confusion, which Tony admits is frankly kind of adorable. He looks like a puppy. A confused, evil puppy.

“Y’know. Skedaddle? Don’t tell me you don’t know what that means, I’m not _that_ old, dear God-”

 

“No, no no.” Quantum waves a hand impatiently, “You’re telling me...to leave? As in...you’re. Letting me go. Escape?”

 

“Yes?” Tony frowns at him again.

 

“But-but _why?”_

 

“Look Quadratic-”

 

“ _QUANTUM,_ dude you’re a _scientist_ , it’s really not that hard-”

 

“You’re like twelve-”

 

“I AM NOT,” Quantum shrieks at a register that is truly impressive, “ _TWELVE._ I’ve got a fucking DEATH RAY pointed at you, are you like this with all the villains, because that is just plain _rude_ , people should really stop underestimating teenagers-”

 

“Actually.” An amused voice interrupts Quantum's rant from the doorway, making Tony jump in surprise. “he's kind of like this with everyone, villain or no.”

 

In their arguing, neither of them had noticed the quiet snick of the lock being picked, or the sound of the door being opened. Steve isn’t smiling, but Tony can see the sparkle of mirth and relief in his eyes as he re-attaches his shield to his back. Natasha stands behind him, smirking at the two of them, blade in hand.

 

“Ugh.” Quantum sighs, a tad over-dramatically if you ask Tony, before he slaps the side of his watch. Tony curses as a low sound frequency pulses out from the device and he’s immediately hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea. The room spins, and Tony shuts his eyes to try to minimize the effect.

 

By the time he recovers, the kid is gone, and Steve is already at his side undoing the zip-ties. Tony can see Natasha step out briefly to update the team.

 

“You good?” Steve asks Tony, looking him over worriedly for injuries.

 

“Relax Cap, the kid didn’t do anything except tie me to an uncomfortable chair and monologue at me for ten minutes.” Tony winced as he shifted his sore shoulders.

 

Steve snorted at that. “Ah, I see. Explains the arguing then.”

 

“Well of course, mocking supervillains is my favourite past-time.” Tony grins as he hops up from the chair and Steve rolls his eyes at him.

 

“You know you could stand to antagonize them less.”

 

Tony gasps. “ _Never_. That’s one of the best parts of my job.” he shrugs. “Besides, I really don’t think I was in any danger. Did you see that technology he had there at the end? Low-frequency waves. Very smart. Efficient. Deadly if you utilize them correctly, yet the kid didn’t even touch them until the very end while he was trying to escape. He doesn’t seem like the truly evil type.”

 

Steve looks at him fondly.

“You just like him because he’s a kid genius.”

 

“Well, yeah that was kind of implied, was it not implied? Dammit that means I’m losing my touch.”

 

Natasha clears her throat from right behind Tony, and he curses, jumping about a foot in the air before spinning around. She smirks at him again. Damned super spies.

 

“Move it Stark,” Natasha grins, and Tony frowns at her obvious amusement. “We’ve got a Quinjet full of bored superheroes and a PR consultant waiting on you. I’ve gotten some samples of Quantum’s tech, and I would really like to get back before Thor and Hulk start another arm-wrestling match.”

 

Tony smiles at her. “You got me tech? Aww you shouldn’t have.” Natasha snorts in response and walks off, her steps quick and efficient, carrying three heavy pieces of equipment as if it’s nothing. Steve follows her, giving Tony a grin as he passes, and Tony falls into step beside Steve.

 

It takes him a minute to realize what Natasha had said.

 

“Wait, you _all_ came for me?” Tony asks quizzically. Steve gives him a weird look from beside him.  “Of course. Why wouldn’t we? Everyone was really worried.”

 

Natasha snorts again from her position in front of them. “Understatement of the century.” In a smooth motion, she turns around and wacks Tony gently on the head.

 

“Ow.” He glares at her.

 

“No more getting kidnapped.” She says, pointing at him, and then walks off again. Tony blinks at her retreating back and notices that Steve seems to be stifling laughter from beside him, lips pursed and eyes crinkling with suppressed amusement.

 

“Shut it Rogers,” he says, squinting, which seems to be the breaking point for Steve as he finally bursts into laughter.

 

Tony sighs and walks away from a still cackling Steve. “All I ever get is abuse. ABUSE.”

 

And if Tony can’t help smiling a bit to himself as he’s helped onto the quinjet by a ranting Tara, or punched in the arm by Clint as he settles into his seat or fussed over by Steve, well. That’s nobody’s business but his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An overuse of italics. :)
> 
> Anyways, this chapter is short and really didn't have anything to do with anything (plot? What plot. I don't got any here), I just felt like writing something cracky because I'm running off four hours of sleep and I've got like five exams coming up, so therefore, I must panic-write stories about superheroes instead of studying for my chemistry exam in a week. 
> 
> I hope y'all realize that this fic in my brain has literally no organized plot rn. Oh I have an overall outline of how I want this to go, but I'm a horrible writer because I'm too cheesy and my entire approach is the embodiment of "meh, I'll figure it out eventually" XDD
> 
> The quadratic comment is something based off of my friend's last name being remarkably similar to that parabolic function everyone knows and loves and me refusing to call her by her proper last name as a result. :))))) Works even better since she's actually at military college rn, so they go by last names anyways XD
> 
> Anyways, I plan to flesh out more of the details during the summer break, but until then, this is what you're stuck with for now. As always, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed :)


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